Day 20a

My little man, Thomas, had an endoscopy today, and so he had to be put to sleep.  I had no problem trusting in the doctor completely that was doing it.  I wasn't worried at all.  I sat there thinking if I can trust a doctor who is smart but merely human why do I have a hard time trusting the Lord in all situations.  I trust Him with many areas but others I still rely on my own strength.  However, Jesus is calling me to total trust.  Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding".  Isaiah 26:4, "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal".  Jesus, help me to trust You and Your promises.  He showed me in an interesting way today that I can trust Him.  I was with my child in pre-op, and they were taking us from one place to another pretty quickly to get him into to surgery at the right time.  My husband wasn't there because he was on a field trip with my oldest son so it was just Thomas and I.  The nurse told me rather quickly to hold him and get on the scale.  I froze for a second because I didn't know what to do.  She was in a rush so I didn't feel like I could stop her and say that it really wasn't a good idea for me to do it because God is teaching me to lean on Him and not the scale.  She was holding stuff so I didn't want to ask her.  I just thought, okay God, you have placed this here, I am not sneaking around to do it, so I will just stand on the scale with him.  I weighed exactly what I weighed when I started this venture twenty days ago.  I felt like God gave me that little bit of reassurance I needed to say, hey, this is working, keep trusting Me.  I realized with the way I want to eat as well that the hardest time for me is in the late afternoon.  I can eat reasonable for breakfast and lunch but around 4pm, I start feeling ravenous.  I am praying that God gives me strength for the second half of the day.  I am also going to try drinking a big, healthy glass of skim milk around 4 if I feel that way, to help curb my hunger until supper. 
Fran