Day 41a-Day 43a

God is alive and powerful.  That is not always on the forefront of my life in a hard situation or a situation I have no control over.  God is the God of miracles.  He can do extraordinary things, and it is all for the praise of Him.  He can also change any heart.  I want to be involved in His work.  One of the biggest ways I can start is by being on my knees in prayer, consistently.  James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."  I am righteous because of Christ and Christ alone, because of His work done on the cross.  It is not me but Him.  Since, I am righteous, my prayer can be powerful and effective.  Prayer is a powerful tool in God's kingdom.  I need to be praying for those who are struggling, those who are sick, those who are weak.  I need to be praying for those who have not come to Christ.  I need to be praying that Christ's name would be glorified in America and the whole world.  I need to be praying that I would be a faithful steward, and that God would help me stand up under temptation.  Psalm 6:9, "The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer." Proverbs 15:29, "The Lord is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous." Paul says in Romans 10:1, "Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved."  Jesus, let me heart's desire be for the world around me.  May my daily prayers be for the people in this world who need who, that you will save the lost, help the weak, comfort those who mourn, encourage those who are discouraged.  Continue to give me a heart for people and help me to be steadfast in praying for them.  I need you; they need you.  Keep me away from the things that can distract me (TV, computer, cleaning all day long) and keep me on target for your kingdom purposes.  I need you too.  I really wanted my scale yesterday.  It came up out of nowhere.  It can't satisfy like you though.  Continue to keep me away from it.
Fran

Day 40a

Forty days without the scale.  Jesus, keep me faithful.  It was nice today.  I was going to go running, but I have been sick the past couple of days.  Before, I did not feel like I had a choice to run or not.  If the scale said I needed to run, I would regardless of my health.  Today, I knew I wasn't feeling 100 percent, so I decided not to run.  Instead, I came home and now I am spending time with Jesus before I pick my kids up from preschool.  Ahh, this is so much nicer.  It is nice for Christ to compel us, but not to feel compelled by things of this world.  I felt completely trapped when I was using my scale.  I felt like I didn't have a choice with things.  My schedule was determined by my weight.  That is not freedom.  Freedom is in Christ alone.  1 Peter 3:18, "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God."  Jesus, thank you that you wanted to bring me to God.  You are righteous, and now I am righteous because of you alone. 1 Peter 4 goes on to say in verse7 and 8, "The end of all things is near.  Therefore be clear minded and self controlled so that you can pray.  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."  I want to have Christ on my mind today.  If He is at the forefront of my mind, I can be self-controlled, and I can love others through His Spirit.  This is living, not for myself, but for Jesus.  I had to call someone this morning that I dealt with at work yesterday.   I wasn't outwardly rude, but I could have handled the situation with her yesterday much nicer.  Jesus, keep showing me my heart and continue to humble me. 
Fran

Day 39a

I am trying to decide whether I am going to run the Governor's Cup Half Marathon or not.  I feel like it will be good for me to have a goal and stick with it.  I haven't run a marathon or half marathon since before Thomas was born.  It use to be so easy, but I get so sore now.  I really am getting old.  We will see.  I have a couple or more days to decide.  I really do enjoy running, and it has been nice doing it for fun and not to control my weight.  I feel like I can relax and enjoy it without worrying about how much weight I will lose by running a certain amount.  I just want to make sure my decisions count for eternity.  It would be cool to take each mile and pray about different things.  Maybe it can be my prayer race.  Colossians 3:17, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."  Jesus, show me even in the little things how I can do it for your glory.  Life is too short to waste time.  It is so hard though not to get lazy here on earth.  Jesus, show me how to be steadfast in my walk.  Help me to start my day focused so I can stay on target.  There will always be more than enough to take up time on earth.  Keep me focused on eternity. 
Fran

Day 37-Day38

God wants my whole heart.  God doesn't want half of it.  God pressed on my heart today to really look at my life.  Am I really giving Him all of me?  Is what I am watching on TV and how much I am watching it really pleasing Him?  Is the way I treat my children and husband when I am tired or frustrated pleasing Him?  Is the way I respond to something I don't like pleasing Him?  Is the way I treat every stranger I come in contact with throughout the day pleasing Him?  Is the way I am being an ambassador for His kingdom pleasing Him?  Is the way I spend my time and money pleasing Him?  Am I in this all the way or do I still have one foot in the door?  Jesus, I want to be in it with my whole heart, but I love being comfortable in this life.  Jesus, show me how to die to self and live for you.  John 12:24-26, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.  He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world, will keep it to life eternal.  If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there my servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him."  Jesus, I don't know anything about sacrifice.  I don't know anything about following you with ALL my heart.  Jesus, teach me.  Jesus, sustain me.  I want to start now.  I want to finish well.  I love you Jesus.  You are God.  Show me how to be a faithful follower with all my life.
Fran

Day 33a-Day36a

I have stayed away from the scales now for 36 days.  That is the longest I have been for about 16 years now.  However, I am still at a place where I could fall any day if I don't lean on the Lord.  I have to be totally dependent on Him with this area, or I know I will fall in a second.  I use to say that I have gained victory, I will never struggle with that again....and then I would fall quickly.  I can say that God is really humbling me in the sense that I KNOW there is no way I can do this without Him.  I have desired it less and less, but I know that desire could sneak back in a second if I take my eyes off of Jesus. Hebrews 12:2, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  Jesus endured to the end.  He endured pain and separation from His Father.  It is overwhelming to know I was his motivation to endure, that you were His motivation to endure.  Jesus, thank you that your love for me kept you on the cross.  You knew there was no other way but you.  Thank you for staying the course.  Thank you that you perfected our faith.  Help me to keep my eyes fixed on you and endure for eternity.  Help me keep an eternal purpose.  Help me love others like you love them and choose you over this world.  You are worth it.  You are in glory now, at the right hand of the throne of God.  I can't wait to praise you for all eternity in heaven.  Help me to start now doing all things for your glory.  Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  You died for me because you loved me.  Jesus, please show me what it means to truly love you.  Show me how to truly love other people.  I ran almost 11 miles today.  It was so nice to run just enjoy it.  I was not running to lose weight (because I have no idea what I weigh).  I ran knowing my body is more messed up than it was when I ran my last marathon.  My knees hurt, my hips hurt, but it was great knowing that I am dependent on the Lord for my body to work as well.  I thanked Him for letting me finish this run because it is not easy like it use to be.  This body is wasting away(feeling old :+))....but one day I will have a heavenly body that will last for eternity.  Can't wait for that :+)  Come Lord Jesus!!
Fran

Day 32a

Thank you Jesus.  I was able to have another lunch time where I focused on Jesus instead of food.  Wow!  That is really so much more filling.  One thing I need from the Lord is hope that He can change me.  It is crazy how when we get stuck in a bad pattern we think that we cannot change.  My thoughts say,  you have done this for too long.  You will never be able to truly break this.  Well, I will never be able to truly break it, but God can.  He is stronger than any stronghold, depression, habit, generational sin, etc.  He is strong enough, and He is able.  Jesus, give me faith as small as a mustard seed to believe that.  Give me faith for today.  Help me to see that change is possible in this life because we are more than conquerors through You who loves us (Romans 8:37).  God showed me today that I need to continue to humble myself.  I cannot be prideful in any aspect of my life.  I have been a social worker for ten years now.  I have become pretty confident in it, but I still need God to be a good social worker.  I made a mistake recently that I shouldn't have made, but I did.  I was not seeking God for the answers but was trying to make a situation work through my own effort.  I made a bad decision because I got cocky.  Jesus, please keep me from pride.  1 Peter 5:6, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand , that he may lift you up in due time."  Jesus, I need to be humbled that you may be glorified, in work, eating, relationships, etc.  I cannot leave you or your wisdom for a second.  Please forgive me for not seeking you with work and food.  Help me to repent and walk in obedience.  Thank you that you are for restoration and not condemnation.  Set my heart on eternity for today, for this moment.
Fran

Day 31a

I had some victory at lunch today.  YAY!!  Thank you Jesus.  I realized from giving up stuff at lunch that food is definitely too important.  I felt there was something lacking when I didn't get fast food.  I see the benefit of continuing to give the Lord my lunch and say yes Jesus you are more important than lunch, fast food, etc.  When I am less focused on food, I can focus more on God's kingdom.  I had a great time during lunch talking to a friend.  It was nice focusing on the friend instead of what I was eating.  It felt really good.  What I didn't get with fast food, I gained in a good conversation that was hopefully encouraging.  It was definitely encouraging to me.  It is so easy to fall though.  If I don't keep my mind on Jesus, I will fall in a second.  1 Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear,  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."  Thank you for being faithful Jesus.  That you that you are the one that rescues us and provides a way out when we need it.  You always prove yourself faithful.  Help me to  be faithful to you.  Help this to be one of my spiritual acts of worship.  Praying I can give up food even more throughout the day tomorrow and say, "God, I love you more than this food." 
Fran

Day 30a

Okay, so I do need to address my issues with 1. fast food and 2. eating a little more than I should everyday.  It is not an all out glutton fest like I use to do, but hey, sin is sin.  I am going to call it by name.  I eat more than I need to each day.  Proverbs 23:21, "for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags".  I looked at my credit card statement for this past month.  Seeing it on paper was quite embarrassing for me.  I went to fast food places way more than I would like to admit in a month's time.  I was convicted.  Let me stop right there, convicted but not condemned.  I am covered by God's Grace.  God wants repentance for me, new life. Romans 6:4, "We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."  John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  Satan wants to destroy me.  He wants me to be condemned, to feel there is no hope, no life.  Jesus came to destroy the work of Satan.  He came to be a living hope and be the giver of new life.  He wants repentance from me because He loves me, not because he wants to destroy me.  I don't know about you, but I want that.  I want the Lord of the Universe to give me life.  I want him to destroy the work of the devil in my life.  Okay, so back to the credit card.  I am not only holding fast food up as an idol, I am robbing my family and Christ.  That money needs to be used for eternal purposes, not on my stomach.  Forgive me Jesus.  So, I realized lunch is when I tend to get fast food whether it be a coke or a combo meal and lunch is when I tend to eat more than I should.  Maybe Jesus is trying to tell me something.  What if I spend lunch worshiping my Father and dying to self.  Hmmmm!  Jesus lead me in your wisdom and truth.  I am so much in need of your grace.  Thank you that it was freely given by your death and resurrection.  Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Eternal life is through Christ alone.  It can be found nowhere else.  Thank you Jesus.
Fran

Day 28a-Day 29a

God wants us to be going to Him continually for wisdom, strength, help with temptation, forgiveness when we have sinned.  It hit me yesterday that abiding means a continually going to Jesus for these things.  I need to go to him right away when I am struggling with idolatry, resentment, jealousy, etc.  I need to stop what I am doing and say, Jesus, right now, I am really having a hard time with this, can you please help me or Jesus, I see a man over there that seems to be struggling, give me wisdom with how I can show love to this person.  I want to have minute by minute conversation with my Savior.  Going to him once a day, is not enough-I am too weak.  I need Him constantly.  We all do.  1Thessalonians 5:17, "Pray continually."   It gives on to say vs. 18, "give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus".  I need to not only go to God continually with my requests, hardships, struggles, etc. , I need to be on my knees thanking Him continually for who He is, His love for us, His provisions.  It is amazing that we have the right to approach Him and actually be able to speak with Him.  Hebrews 4:15-16, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  Jesus, I need you today.  I can't be a faithful servant for more than a few minutes without your grace.  I love you.  I will say, humbly, that the scale seems to be coming a little less important recently. 
Fran

Day 26a-27a

I ran with a super, in shape friend today, I mean extremely in shape.  I was able to run the whole 6.3 miles with her, but boy it pushed my body in a way it hasn't felt since training for my last marathon, probably even harder.  It feels good when your body can really push itself and do something harder than it is normally use to.  I left feeling like I wanted to be healthy, not emaciated or gaunt, but healthy.  She has a Master in Health Science and has been an avid fitness expert for years.  She was talking about the importance of being balanced with food.  Not being so extreme that you never enjoy sweets or good stuff but not being overly lazy with food where you are an all-out glutton.  It seems to be all about balance.  Not over or under eating, not over or under exercising, not going to extreme that you can never keep for life, but living a balanced healthy life that honors God.  I then had lunch with a good friend who was sharing with me all she has learned from the Lord.  We talked about fasting, not to lose weight, but to honor God.  Using the absence of food for a short period to focus on the Lord and His work in the world.  Isaiah 58:6-7, "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and  untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?  Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?"  It goes on to say that as a result of this vs. 8, "Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard."  As well as vs. 9, "Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say:  Here I am."  Wow!  That is powerful, speaks for itself.
Fran

Day 25a

I was talking at lunch with two great friends, and they hit the nail on the head.  There is nothing on earth that can satisfy in the long run, but Jesus.  Some girls think if I could just get  a husband, then I will be content.  Others who are married say, if my husband would just understand me or act like that husband over there, then I will be content.  Other "just ifs" are a good job, a great body, wealth, children who are well round or just children in general, great friends, etc.  However, all these things will fail at some point.  They were not meant to fulfill our ultimate desire of knowing Jesus.  That is why Jesus wants us to come to Him, not because he is a "conceited God" but because He knows our ultimate best is found in Him.  He loves us and wants us to be fulfilled.  These other things are not bad and can give lots of joy if they are in their proper place.  They were never meant to take Jesus' place.  Jesus, if you are the ultimate desire of my soul, help me saturate myself in your Word.  Help me be the branches on your vine of everlasting life, peace, joy, etc.  John 15:5, "I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."  We have to be connected to the source of life, that is Jesus alone.  We can only live content, productive "eternal" lives, if we are abiding in Him.  For me, I have to be abiding constantly.  If I turn to the side for even a second, it falls apart pretty quickly.  I need Jesus.  Jesus, you are my life source.  Keep me abiding in you.  John 15:9, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love."  Remain with Jesus.  Nothing else will satisfy like Him. 
Fran

Day 23a-24a

I have been running a little more the past couple of days to train for the Governor's Cup Road Race, not sure yet whether I am going to run the half marathon or the 5miler.  I was thinking as I running yesterday that this is enjoyable when I am not doing it to try to fix the number on the scale.  There was no pressure.  I could run for the fun of it and not to accomplish my weight goal.  It is so nice when your body feels healthy, when it is being pushed in a healthy way.  You really do get a runner's high after you have gone farther than you thought you could.   That is my goal.  To be healthy, to push my self in healthy ways with healthy goals.  To be healthy for the purpose of going out and sharing God's love however He may want me to that day.  Different focus on healthy, but I believe a better focus.  Wow!  It is crazy how I can just go run an hour, no problem, but you tell me to eat right for a day--IMPOSSIBLE!  I am glad it is so hard though, because I have to rely on God.  I really can't do this without Him.  I have tried for twenty plus years.  I think the longest I went eating healthy was one month.  I am weak, but He is strong.  The biggest thing for me to remember though is that there is always hope when we have Jesus.  That is what I always tell the patients I am working with that are suicidal or depressed.  Don't give up hope.  It can get better.  Hope is so vital to living.  "Christ in you, the hope of glory"(Colossians 1:27). Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed-(1 Peter1:13).
Fran

Day 22a

Matthew 6:25, "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes?"  I spent a good chunk of time today just being with my children, not having an agenda or running from place to place, but just being with them.  It was so nice to just meet them where they were and experience life with them.  It was nice turning off the computer, TV, etc. and just enjoying the day that God gave us.  When we are freed up from idols or traps that take up so much time and energy, we can enjoy what God has given us for that day and thank Him for it.  I worry too much about petty things.  Usually,  I don't spend too much time worrying about big things, it is the small things like are my kids balanced enough, am I doing enough academic wise for them, am I pushing them too much or too little, do I look too dumpy today, etc.  Small stuff that takes up too much time.  As Jesus said to His disciples in, Matthew 8:26, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid".  Perfect loves drives out fear and worry 1 John 4:18.  Jesus, you are perfect love.  Help me to cling to you when I have fear or worry.  On another note, I am definitely addicted to fast food.  God is revealing yet another idol.  There, I have said it and now I need to be serious about it.  I need to stay away from it.  Leaning on the Lord.
Fran

Day 21a

I just saw the movie, Courageous.  Wow!  It is powerful.  Really did a great job encouraging parents (namely dads, but I got a lot out of it too) to be intently and fully involved in their children's lives.  It encouraged me to keep pressing on, throwing off the sin that so easily entangles, and run with perserverance the race marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1).  To finish well (2Tim 4:7).  In order to invest in my kids, I can't have an idol that I am clinging too.  It takes time and commitment to truly invest.  I can't have a divided heart.  I need to be fully committed first to my Savior and then let that flow into my family.  It encouraged me to take a hard look at what I am investing my time, money, mind, etc in, and to see if those things have eternal value.  If they don't, it is time to throw them off.  If I could give my kids back the extra hours I spent running to lose weight because I had overeaten, driving to go weigh myself, running some more, going to get fast food, etc, I would in a second.  However, God is concerned about my present heart.  I can start now using my time and energy for His Glory.  Letting love for my God flow into their lives.  Being interested in how God uniquely made them and how He wants me to shepherd their precious hearts.  If you haven't seen the movie yet, it is worth the $10.  To God be the Glory.
Fran

Day 20a

My little man, Thomas, had an endoscopy today, and so he had to be put to sleep.  I had no problem trusting in the doctor completely that was doing it.  I wasn't worried at all.  I sat there thinking if I can trust a doctor who is smart but merely human why do I have a hard time trusting the Lord in all situations.  I trust Him with many areas but others I still rely on my own strength.  However, Jesus is calling me to total trust.  Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding".  Isaiah 26:4, "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal".  Jesus, help me to trust You and Your promises.  He showed me in an interesting way today that I can trust Him.  I was with my child in pre-op, and they were taking us from one place to another pretty quickly to get him into to surgery at the right time.  My husband wasn't there because he was on a field trip with my oldest son so it was just Thomas and I.  The nurse told me rather quickly to hold him and get on the scale.  I froze for a second because I didn't know what to do.  She was in a rush so I didn't feel like I could stop her and say that it really wasn't a good idea for me to do it because God is teaching me to lean on Him and not the scale.  She was holding stuff so I didn't want to ask her.  I just thought, okay God, you have placed this here, I am not sneaking around to do it, so I will just stand on the scale with him.  I weighed exactly what I weighed when I started this venture twenty days ago.  I felt like God gave me that little bit of reassurance I needed to say, hey, this is working, keep trusting Me.  I realized with the way I want to eat as well that the hardest time for me is in the late afternoon.  I can eat reasonable for breakfast and lunch but around 4pm, I start feeling ravenous.  I am praying that God gives me strength for the second half of the day.  I am also going to try drinking a big, healthy glass of skim milk around 4 if I feel that way, to help curb my hunger until supper. 
Fran

Day 18a-Day 19a

Sorry for not writing yesterday.  It was one of those crazy days with football, work, errands, and throwing a quick play date in.  Fun stuff but makes for a crazy day.  I am approaching my eating today with great humility knowing I cannot do it on my own.  I have to be totally dependent on the Lord with each bite I take.  I am excited about going to Him today and asking for His wisdom with the food I eat and how much of it I eat.  2 Peter 1:3, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."  He gives us all we need in this life as we are growing in the knowledge of Him.  Jesus, help me to learn more about you today.  Thank you that you give us all we need for your glory, NOT FRAN's.  You also give it to us because you are good.  You are good.  I was thinking yesterday that the lowest time in my eating was during my first year at Wofford.  I could not control how much I was eating.  I was overeating everyday and it felt out of control.  I was not going to the Lord with it and was trying to "overrun" or make myself throw up.  However, it turned into just plain ole' over eating.  It was a very scary time, and I really felt like there was no hope.....but God (I love the phrase, "but God" because it shows he is about to act in a powerful way).  But God, in his mercy saved me.  He brought me out of that period, set me down in a neat place to learn and grow in Him and have some of the greatest fellowship of my life (Columbia International University).  It wasn't a perfect place but God used it as a true healing time in my life.  It was then that I learned to trust God with my eating, eat when I was hungry and stop when I was full.  Over Christmas during that time, I started following this and lost about 20 pounds over the break.  I had put on some weight at Wofford so that weight came off very quickly.  I began to trust God with my eating.  Over the years, I have slowly turned from trusting God to depending on my scale, running, and diets.  Thank goodness that God is wooing me back to what He taught me before and hopefully, will even take me further.  I am excited about the journey.
Fran

Day 17a

I realized I went into this new way of eating somewhat prideful, and, "pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."  I thought, I can do this eating, piece of cake.  I did not go to the Lord asking Him to be my strength.  I was relying on my own strength and this author's strategy.  I know now that I can't even take a breath without the Lord.  My whole life rests on Him.  I can't eat this way without his help.  I need to go before Him at each meal and ask for His help.  I am a dependent creature on My Heavenly Father.  Okay, so I blew it today with my eating.  I thought, hey, I have done good the past two days (not even thinking that the past 20 years have been failure after failure on the diet front).  I need Him.  There is no way I can do this without Him.  Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness."  Psalm 37:40, "The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them because they take refuge in Him."  I have to take refuge in Him.  I need to seek Him and put my trust in Him.  God and I will continue to walk this journey tomorrow.  I am choosing to trust Him and not my scale.  I want to live for eternity and not this world. My hope must be in Christ and not how I want things to go my way in this life.  It is not about this life.  It is about eternity.  Psalm 39:4-7, "Show me, O  Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.  You have made my days a mere handbreath; the span of my years is as nothing before you.  Each man's life is but a breath.  Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:  He bustles about, but only in vain: he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.  But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you."  This life is so short.  Jesus, let me live for eternity.  This task seems too big and too hard, but nothing is impossible with you Lord.  Continue to break down the strongholds of food and the scales.  I want to follow the way of the cross and not the scale.  Hard day but good lessons.
Fran

Day 16a

We just spent a beautiful afternoon at Sky Top Apple Orchard today.  It was amazing to see God's beauty on the mountain with all those pretty apple trees.  I was just thinking out there that I want to enjoy each day that God has given to me regardless if I am at a certain goal I have set for myself or not.  I have in the past lived for the goal whether it be educational, weight, family, etc.  However, I think God is teaching me to be content with that day.  To live in the present in the sense of enjoying it, giving thanks, and making the most of each day.  I have a long way to go in terms of where I want to be with God, education, weight, the scales, etc.  However, I want to take it day by day instead of living for a moment six months down the road.....so, today, it was nice to not weigh myself, eat reasonably, and enjoy the day that God gave to my family  and I.
Fran

Day 15a

We went to the Wofford Game today with my parents.  I knew we were going to my favorite restaurant in the world after the game, The Beacon.  I was  a little nervous about it.  I started my new way of eating today from what I learned yesterday.  I waited until I was truly hungry which actually didn't come until around 1pm today.  Hopefully, it will be sooner tomorrow.  I took my time and thoroughly enjoyed each bite and ate slowly.  I stopped when I was pleasantly full.  I did that for lunch and then I got hungry again when it was time to go to The Beacon after the game.  My family got a snack at the game, but I didn't because I wasn't hungry.  I drank water instead.  For supper, I got my favorite meal at The Beacon.  It was a cheeseburger a plenty(with tons of onion rings and fries).  I took small bites, set my food down between each bite, chewed in thoroughly, and then took another bite.  It worked.  I only ate about one third to one half of my food.  For both lunch, supper, and a snack(just got hungry again), I by no means overate.  I hope to do it even better tomorrow.  I tried drinking water most of the day as well except I had a Diet Coke for one of my snacks tonight.  The cool thing is that I never let myself get to the point where I was starving.  I started eating when I was hungry but not ravenous.  No scale today.  I can't wait for the day when this way of eating becomes natural.  I have to give it a lot of thought right now.  Jesus, make all of this less and less and You more and more.  In the book of Jonah it says in Chapter 4 I believe that those who cling to idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.  Help me to cling to you Jesus.
Fran