Day 22a

Matthew 6:25, "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes?"  I spent a good chunk of time today just being with my children, not having an agenda or running from place to place, but just being with them.  It was so nice to just meet them where they were and experience life with them.  It was nice turning off the computer, TV, etc. and just enjoying the day that God gave us.  When we are freed up from idols or traps that take up so much time and energy, we can enjoy what God has given us for that day and thank Him for it.  I worry too much about petty things.  Usually,  I don't spend too much time worrying about big things, it is the small things like are my kids balanced enough, am I doing enough academic wise for them, am I pushing them too much or too little, do I look too dumpy today, etc.  Small stuff that takes up too much time.  As Jesus said to His disciples in, Matthew 8:26, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid".  Perfect loves drives out fear and worry 1 John 4:18.  Jesus, you are perfect love.  Help me to cling to you when I have fear or worry.  On another note, I am definitely addicted to fast food.  God is revealing yet another idol.  There, I have said it and now I need to be serious about it.  I need to stay away from it.  Leaning on the Lord.
Fran

Day 21a

I just saw the movie, Courageous.  Wow!  It is powerful.  Really did a great job encouraging parents (namely dads, but I got a lot out of it too) to be intently and fully involved in their children's lives.  It encouraged me to keep pressing on, throwing off the sin that so easily entangles, and run with perserverance the race marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1).  To finish well (2Tim 4:7).  In order to invest in my kids, I can't have an idol that I am clinging too.  It takes time and commitment to truly invest.  I can't have a divided heart.  I need to be fully committed first to my Savior and then let that flow into my family.  It encouraged me to take a hard look at what I am investing my time, money, mind, etc in, and to see if those things have eternal value.  If they don't, it is time to throw them off.  If I could give my kids back the extra hours I spent running to lose weight because I had overeaten, driving to go weigh myself, running some more, going to get fast food, etc, I would in a second.  However, God is concerned about my present heart.  I can start now using my time and energy for His Glory.  Letting love for my God flow into their lives.  Being interested in how God uniquely made them and how He wants me to shepherd their precious hearts.  If you haven't seen the movie yet, it is worth the $10.  To God be the Glory.
Fran

Day 20a

My little man, Thomas, had an endoscopy today, and so he had to be put to sleep.  I had no problem trusting in the doctor completely that was doing it.  I wasn't worried at all.  I sat there thinking if I can trust a doctor who is smart but merely human why do I have a hard time trusting the Lord in all situations.  I trust Him with many areas but others I still rely on my own strength.  However, Jesus is calling me to total trust.  Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding".  Isaiah 26:4, "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal".  Jesus, help me to trust You and Your promises.  He showed me in an interesting way today that I can trust Him.  I was with my child in pre-op, and they were taking us from one place to another pretty quickly to get him into to surgery at the right time.  My husband wasn't there because he was on a field trip with my oldest son so it was just Thomas and I.  The nurse told me rather quickly to hold him and get on the scale.  I froze for a second because I didn't know what to do.  She was in a rush so I didn't feel like I could stop her and say that it really wasn't a good idea for me to do it because God is teaching me to lean on Him and not the scale.  She was holding stuff so I didn't want to ask her.  I just thought, okay God, you have placed this here, I am not sneaking around to do it, so I will just stand on the scale with him.  I weighed exactly what I weighed when I started this venture twenty days ago.  I felt like God gave me that little bit of reassurance I needed to say, hey, this is working, keep trusting Me.  I realized with the way I want to eat as well that the hardest time for me is in the late afternoon.  I can eat reasonable for breakfast and lunch but around 4pm, I start feeling ravenous.  I am praying that God gives me strength for the second half of the day.  I am also going to try drinking a big, healthy glass of skim milk around 4 if I feel that way, to help curb my hunger until supper. 
Fran

Day 18a-Day 19a

Sorry for not writing yesterday.  It was one of those crazy days with football, work, errands, and throwing a quick play date in.  Fun stuff but makes for a crazy day.  I am approaching my eating today with great humility knowing I cannot do it on my own.  I have to be totally dependent on the Lord with each bite I take.  I am excited about going to Him today and asking for His wisdom with the food I eat and how much of it I eat.  2 Peter 1:3, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."  He gives us all we need in this life as we are growing in the knowledge of Him.  Jesus, help me to learn more about you today.  Thank you that you give us all we need for your glory, NOT FRAN's.  You also give it to us because you are good.  You are good.  I was thinking yesterday that the lowest time in my eating was during my first year at Wofford.  I could not control how much I was eating.  I was overeating everyday and it felt out of control.  I was not going to the Lord with it and was trying to "overrun" or make myself throw up.  However, it turned into just plain ole' over eating.  It was a very scary time, and I really felt like there was no hope.....but God (I love the phrase, "but God" because it shows he is about to act in a powerful way).  But God, in his mercy saved me.  He brought me out of that period, set me down in a neat place to learn and grow in Him and have some of the greatest fellowship of my life (Columbia International University).  It wasn't a perfect place but God used it as a true healing time in my life.  It was then that I learned to trust God with my eating, eat when I was hungry and stop when I was full.  Over Christmas during that time, I started following this and lost about 20 pounds over the break.  I had put on some weight at Wofford so that weight came off very quickly.  I began to trust God with my eating.  Over the years, I have slowly turned from trusting God to depending on my scale, running, and diets.  Thank goodness that God is wooing me back to what He taught me before and hopefully, will even take me further.  I am excited about the journey.
Fran

Day 17a

I realized I went into this new way of eating somewhat prideful, and, "pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."  I thought, I can do this eating, piece of cake.  I did not go to the Lord asking Him to be my strength.  I was relying on my own strength and this author's strategy.  I know now that I can't even take a breath without the Lord.  My whole life rests on Him.  I can't eat this way without his help.  I need to go before Him at each meal and ask for His help.  I am a dependent creature on My Heavenly Father.  Okay, so I blew it today with my eating.  I thought, hey, I have done good the past two days (not even thinking that the past 20 years have been failure after failure on the diet front).  I need Him.  There is no way I can do this without Him.  Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness."  Psalm 37:40, "The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them because they take refuge in Him."  I have to take refuge in Him.  I need to seek Him and put my trust in Him.  God and I will continue to walk this journey tomorrow.  I am choosing to trust Him and not my scale.  I want to live for eternity and not this world. My hope must be in Christ and not how I want things to go my way in this life.  It is not about this life.  It is about eternity.  Psalm 39:4-7, "Show me, O  Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.  You have made my days a mere handbreath; the span of my years is as nothing before you.  Each man's life is but a breath.  Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:  He bustles about, but only in vain: he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.  But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you."  This life is so short.  Jesus, let me live for eternity.  This task seems too big and too hard, but nothing is impossible with you Lord.  Continue to break down the strongholds of food and the scales.  I want to follow the way of the cross and not the scale.  Hard day but good lessons.
Fran

Day 16a

We just spent a beautiful afternoon at Sky Top Apple Orchard today.  It was amazing to see God's beauty on the mountain with all those pretty apple trees.  I was just thinking out there that I want to enjoy each day that God has given to me regardless if I am at a certain goal I have set for myself or not.  I have in the past lived for the goal whether it be educational, weight, family, etc.  However, I think God is teaching me to be content with that day.  To live in the present in the sense of enjoying it, giving thanks, and making the most of each day.  I have a long way to go in terms of where I want to be with God, education, weight, the scales, etc.  However, I want to take it day by day instead of living for a moment six months down the road.....so, today, it was nice to not weigh myself, eat reasonably, and enjoy the day that God gave to my family  and I.
Fran

Day 15a

We went to the Wofford Game today with my parents.  I knew we were going to my favorite restaurant in the world after the game, The Beacon.  I was  a little nervous about it.  I started my new way of eating today from what I learned yesterday.  I waited until I was truly hungry which actually didn't come until around 1pm today.  Hopefully, it will be sooner tomorrow.  I took my time and thoroughly enjoyed each bite and ate slowly.  I stopped when I was pleasantly full.  I did that for lunch and then I got hungry again when it was time to go to The Beacon after the game.  My family got a snack at the game, but I didn't because I wasn't hungry.  I drank water instead.  For supper, I got my favorite meal at The Beacon.  It was a cheeseburger a plenty(with tons of onion rings and fries).  I took small bites, set my food down between each bite, chewed in thoroughly, and then took another bite.  It worked.  I only ate about one third to one half of my food.  For both lunch, supper, and a snack(just got hungry again), I by no means overate.  I hope to do it even better tomorrow.  I tried drinking water most of the day as well except I had a Diet Coke for one of my snacks tonight.  The cool thing is that I never let myself get to the point where I was starving.  I started eating when I was hungry but not ravenous.  No scale today.  I can't wait for the day when this way of eating becomes natural.  I have to give it a lot of thought right now.  Jesus, make all of this less and less and You more and more.  In the book of Jonah it says in Chapter 4 I believe that those who cling to idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.  Help me to cling to you Jesus.
Fran