Day 48a

Wow!  Last night was rough.  Out of nowhere, I got this huge desire to weigh myself because I got scared.  I was afraid that I was gaining weight, and I needed something to tell me what direction to head.  I felt like I needed to weigh myself to know what path to go down.  I even started to justify ways that I could weigh myself just once.  I went to God's word and read,  "Be careful not to forget the covenant of the LORD your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the LORD your God has forbidden. For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."  Deuteronomy 4:23-24  God stopped me in my panic and reminded me that above all else, He comes first in my life.  He is my reason for living.  I want to trust Him not my scale.  He is so much greater.  He gives so much peace and joy.  My scale only brought me anxiety and feelings of unworthiness.  I walked in obedience and did not use the scale, don't get me wrong, the feeling side of me wanted to so bad, but I chose to walk by faith.  Today, I am back to feeling at peace with it.  It was a trial.  It was hard, but I pray Jesus got the glory.  Jesus, continue to help me be faithful to you.  I love you Jesus.

Fran
 

– Deuteronomy 4:23-24 (NIV)

 

 

Day 44a- Day 47a

It is hard being away from the scale.  It is showing me that I really need the Lord in this.  If it were easy, I would feel like I was doing it on my own.  I know that I could fall in a second if I take my eyes off of Jesus.  I have such a draw to know what the number is on the scale.  My clothes feel pretty much the same since I started this venture, but it is still hard not knowing the actual number.  It has been what has defined me the past few years.  I want Jesus to be what defines me.  I want to look at myself and see Christ's ambassador, His beloved child, the object of His redemption.  He is the God of the universe, so He is the one who gets to define me.  I don't even have that right.  I am not Mrs. 133 pounds, I am Fran Ricks, daughter of the King.  Sounds corny, but it is something I need to say over and over again.  God set His affection on me not because of my weight but because He chose to love me.  My job, appearance, family, friends, etc don't define me, It is Christ alone.  Thank you Jesus. 
Fran

Day 41a-Day 43a

God is alive and powerful.  That is not always on the forefront of my life in a hard situation or a situation I have no control over.  God is the God of miracles.  He can do extraordinary things, and it is all for the praise of Him.  He can also change any heart.  I want to be involved in His work.  One of the biggest ways I can start is by being on my knees in prayer, consistently.  James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."  I am righteous because of Christ and Christ alone, because of His work done on the cross.  It is not me but Him.  Since, I am righteous, my prayer can be powerful and effective.  Prayer is a powerful tool in God's kingdom.  I need to be praying for those who are struggling, those who are sick, those who are weak.  I need to be praying for those who have not come to Christ.  I need to be praying that Christ's name would be glorified in America and the whole world.  I need to be praying that I would be a faithful steward, and that God would help me stand up under temptation.  Psalm 6:9, "The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer." Proverbs 15:29, "The Lord is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous." Paul says in Romans 10:1, "Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved."  Jesus, let me heart's desire be for the world around me.  May my daily prayers be for the people in this world who need who, that you will save the lost, help the weak, comfort those who mourn, encourage those who are discouraged.  Continue to give me a heart for people and help me to be steadfast in praying for them.  I need you; they need you.  Keep me away from the things that can distract me (TV, computer, cleaning all day long) and keep me on target for your kingdom purposes.  I need you too.  I really wanted my scale yesterday.  It came up out of nowhere.  It can't satisfy like you though.  Continue to keep me away from it.
Fran

Day 40a

Forty days without the scale.  Jesus, keep me faithful.  It was nice today.  I was going to go running, but I have been sick the past couple of days.  Before, I did not feel like I had a choice to run or not.  If the scale said I needed to run, I would regardless of my health.  Today, I knew I wasn't feeling 100 percent, so I decided not to run.  Instead, I came home and now I am spending time with Jesus before I pick my kids up from preschool.  Ahh, this is so much nicer.  It is nice for Christ to compel us, but not to feel compelled by things of this world.  I felt completely trapped when I was using my scale.  I felt like I didn't have a choice with things.  My schedule was determined by my weight.  That is not freedom.  Freedom is in Christ alone.  1 Peter 3:18, "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God."  Jesus, thank you that you wanted to bring me to God.  You are righteous, and now I am righteous because of you alone. 1 Peter 4 goes on to say in verse7 and 8, "The end of all things is near.  Therefore be clear minded and self controlled so that you can pray.  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."  I want to have Christ on my mind today.  If He is at the forefront of my mind, I can be self-controlled, and I can love others through His Spirit.  This is living, not for myself, but for Jesus.  I had to call someone this morning that I dealt with at work yesterday.   I wasn't outwardly rude, but I could have handled the situation with her yesterday much nicer.  Jesus, keep showing me my heart and continue to humble me. 
Fran

Day 39a

I am trying to decide whether I am going to run the Governor's Cup Half Marathon or not.  I feel like it will be good for me to have a goal and stick with it.  I haven't run a marathon or half marathon since before Thomas was born.  It use to be so easy, but I get so sore now.  I really am getting old.  We will see.  I have a couple or more days to decide.  I really do enjoy running, and it has been nice doing it for fun and not to control my weight.  I feel like I can relax and enjoy it without worrying about how much weight I will lose by running a certain amount.  I just want to make sure my decisions count for eternity.  It would be cool to take each mile and pray about different things.  Maybe it can be my prayer race.  Colossians 3:17, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."  Jesus, show me even in the little things how I can do it for your glory.  Life is too short to waste time.  It is so hard though not to get lazy here on earth.  Jesus, show me how to be steadfast in my walk.  Help me to start my day focused so I can stay on target.  There will always be more than enough to take up time on earth.  Keep me focused on eternity. 
Fran

Day 37-Day38

God wants my whole heart.  God doesn't want half of it.  God pressed on my heart today to really look at my life.  Am I really giving Him all of me?  Is what I am watching on TV and how much I am watching it really pleasing Him?  Is the way I treat my children and husband when I am tired or frustrated pleasing Him?  Is the way I respond to something I don't like pleasing Him?  Is the way I treat every stranger I come in contact with throughout the day pleasing Him?  Is the way I am being an ambassador for His kingdom pleasing Him?  Is the way I spend my time and money pleasing Him?  Am I in this all the way or do I still have one foot in the door?  Jesus, I want to be in it with my whole heart, but I love being comfortable in this life.  Jesus, show me how to die to self and live for you.  John 12:24-26, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.  He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world, will keep it to life eternal.  If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there my servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him."  Jesus, I don't know anything about sacrifice.  I don't know anything about following you with ALL my heart.  Jesus, teach me.  Jesus, sustain me.  I want to start now.  I want to finish well.  I love you Jesus.  You are God.  Show me how to be a faithful follower with all my life.
Fran

Day 33a-Day36a

I have stayed away from the scales now for 36 days.  That is the longest I have been for about 16 years now.  However, I am still at a place where I could fall any day if I don't lean on the Lord.  I have to be totally dependent on Him with this area, or I know I will fall in a second.  I use to say that I have gained victory, I will never struggle with that again....and then I would fall quickly.  I can say that God is really humbling me in the sense that I KNOW there is no way I can do this without Him.  I have desired it less and less, but I know that desire could sneak back in a second if I take my eyes off of Jesus. Hebrews 12:2, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  Jesus endured to the end.  He endured pain and separation from His Father.  It is overwhelming to know I was his motivation to endure, that you were His motivation to endure.  Jesus, thank you that your love for me kept you on the cross.  You knew there was no other way but you.  Thank you for staying the course.  Thank you that you perfected our faith.  Help me to keep my eyes fixed on you and endure for eternity.  Help me keep an eternal purpose.  Help me love others like you love them and choose you over this world.  You are worth it.  You are in glory now, at the right hand of the throne of God.  I can't wait to praise you for all eternity in heaven.  Help me to start now doing all things for your glory.  Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  You died for me because you loved me.  Jesus, please show me what it means to truly love you.  Show me how to truly love other people.  I ran almost 11 miles today.  It was so nice to run just enjoy it.  I was not running to lose weight (because I have no idea what I weigh).  I ran knowing my body is more messed up than it was when I ran my last marathon.  My knees hurt, my hips hurt, but it was great knowing that I am dependent on the Lord for my body to work as well.  I thanked Him for letting me finish this run because it is not easy like it use to be.  This body is wasting away(feeling old :+))....but one day I will have a heavenly body that will last for eternity.  Can't wait for that :+)  Come Lord Jesus!!
Fran